why are so many people afraid of failure? quite simply because no one tells us how to lead failure experience to growth.we forget that failure is part of life and that every person has the right to fail.

most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from it. one way is to lower standards. a mother describes her child's hurriedly-made table as "perfect!" even though it couldn't stand on uneven legs. another way is to shift blame. if john fails the exam, his teacher is unfair or stupid.

the trouble with failure-prevention methods is that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world. the young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. a child who's not invited to a birthday

party or enrolled in the baseball team feels terrible, of course. but parents should not offer a quick comfort prize or say, "it doesn't matter" because it does. the young should experience disappointment and master it.

failure is never pleasurable. it hurts grown-ups and children exactly alike. but it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it. step one is to ask, "why did i fail?" control the natural impulse to blame someone else.ask yourself what you did wrong, how to improve. if someone else can help, don't be shy about asking them.

失敗

為什么那么多人都害怕失敗?原因很簡(jiǎn)單：沒(méi)人告訴我們?cè)撊绾巫屖〉慕?jīng)歷促進(jìn)成長(zhǎng)。我們忘記了，失敗是人生的一部分，每個(gè)人都有失敗的權(quán)利。

很多家長(zhǎng)竭盡全力阻止失敗或保護(hù)自己的孩子免受失敗。一方面，他們降低了要求。孩子匆匆忙忙做的小桌子，即使桌腿都不平，媽媽也會(huì)夸獎(jiǎng)?wù)f“太棒了!”。另一方面，他們把過(guò)錯(cuò)轉(zhuǎn)嫁給別人。如果約翰考試不及格，那么他的老師一定是不公平的或愚蠢的。

這些避免失敗的措施有很大的弊端，他們會(huì)使孩子對(duì)真實(shí)世界里的生活毫無(wú)準(zhǔn)備。年輕人需要學(xué)會(huì)，沒(méi)有人會(huì)處處領(lǐng)先，時(shí)時(shí)成功—即使失敗了，也同樣能夠從游戲中獲得樂(lè)趣。 當(dāng)然，沒(méi)被邀請(qǐng)參加生日晚會(huì)，或是落選棒球隊(duì)，都會(huì)讓孩子感到非常失落。但父母也不用馬上就跑來(lái)安慰或著說(shuō)“沒(méi)關(guān)系”之類(lèi)的話(huà)，因?yàn)檫@的確有關(guān)系。年輕人應(yīng)該體驗(yàn)失望一—并控制這種情緒。

失敗從來(lái)不是一件快樂(lè)的事情。無(wú)論是對(duì)成人還是對(duì)孩子，它都會(huì)造成傷害。不過(guò)，一旦你學(xué)會(huì)了該如何利用它，失敗就會(huì)對(duì)你的人生產(chǎn)生積極的作用。第一步，就是問(wèn)

問(wèn)自己：“我為什么會(huì)失敗?”控制那種自然而然就去指責(zé)別人的沖動(dòng)。問(wèn)問(wèn)自己，究竟哪里做錯(cuò)了，該如何改進(jìn)。如果有人能夠幫助你，別對(duì)請(qǐng)教他們感到不好意思。

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