It's hard to be influential without making a lasting impression, hopefully in a positive way.
如果你不能給別人留下長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)的印象的話,想要制造正面的影響力是很困難的。
Dale Carnegie devotes a major part of "How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age" to discussing exactly how you can impress people.
戴爾-卡內(nèi)基致力于研究“電子時(shí)代如何贏得朋友并影響別人”。
Here are some highlights:
以下是一些重點(diǎn)內(nèi)容:
1. Take interest in others' interests
1.對(duì)別人的興趣表示興趣
We are so busy today that it's difficult to make the time to get to know other people. Therefore, when you take the time to get to know someone else, they'll be grateful for that time.
今天的我們工作太過忙碌,以至于很難有時(shí)間去了解別人。因此,當(dāng)你花時(shí)間去了解別人的時(shí)候,他們會(huì)對(duì)你付出的時(shí)間感到感激。
"Even if you are not actively involved in clubs, groups, or local organizations where face-to-face interactions are possible, there is still an abundance of opportunities to learn about others' passions and concerns," Carnegie writes." The bottom line is that you must become genuinely interested in others before you can expect anyone to be interested in you."
“即使你沒有很活躍地參加俱樂部、小組活動(dòng)或是當(dāng)?shù)亟M織去進(jìn)行面對(duì)面的交流,你還是有大把的機(jī)會(huì)去了解別人的熱情所在的。”卡內(nèi)基如此寫道。“底線是在別人對(duì)你產(chǎn)生興趣之前你必須對(duì)別人非常感興趣。”
2. Make an effort to smile
2.努力微笑
Even when different cultures come together, a smile always brings the same joy and happiness to everyone involved. This will make you more pleasurable to work with as well.
即使是不同文化背景的人在一起,一個(gè)微笑也總能帶來同樣的快樂。也會(huì)讓你在工作上顯得更適合共事。
"There is a simple reason for this phenomenon: when we smile, we are letting people know we are happy to be with them, happy to meet them, happy to be interacting with them," Carnegie says. "They in turn feel happier to be dealing with us."
“這個(gè)現(xiàn)象有個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的道理:當(dāng)我們微笑的時(shí)候,我們會(huì)告訴別人我們很高興和他們?cè)谝黄?,很高興認(rèn)識(shí)他們,很高興和他們交流。”卡內(nèi)基說,“從而他們也會(huì)覺得和我們共事很開心。”
3. Learn names
3.記住別人的名字
Carnegie says that "names are like company logos," and in today's digital world, people's names may be more important than ever (think social media!).
卡內(nèi)基說,“名字就像公司的logo一樣。”在今天這個(gè)電子社會(huì),人們的名字比任何時(shí)候都更加重要(想一想社交媒體吧!)。
"The hundreds of millions of bloggers, tweeters, and Facebookers surely want their voices heard, but they also want their names known."
“成千上萬的博主,推特主,以及facebook用戶一定都希望他們的聲音被聽到,但他們更希望他們的名字被人們熟知。”
Use their names and they are far more likely to remember you.
記住他們的名字,他們就會(huì)更容易記得你。
4. Listen longer
4.聽得更多
Really listening to someone means hearing they say, what they don't say, and what they really mean. To do this, you have to stop interrupting, listen for feelings, repeat what you heard back to the person, acknowledge what the person said, and look for nonverbal clues.
真正地傾聽別人意味著聽他們說了的,他們沒有說的,以及他們真正所表達(dá)的意思。想要做到這點(diǎn),你必須停止打斷他們,邊聽邊感受,并向他們復(fù)述他們說的內(nèi)容,了解他們說的東西,并尋找一些非語言的細(xì)節(jié)。
"When you listen well you not only make an instant impression, you also build a solid bridge for lasting connections," Carnegie writes. "Who can resist being around a person who suspends his thoughts in order to value yours?"
“如果你認(rèn)真聽別人說話,你不但會(huì)給對(duì)方留下短時(shí)的印象,還會(huì)建立起長(zhǎng)期聯(lián)系的堅(jiān)固橋梁。”卡內(nèi)基寫道,“誰會(huì)拒絕一個(gè)為了尊重你的思想而擱置自己思想的人呢?”
5. Discuss what matters to them
5.討論對(duì)他們來說重要的事
To influence other people, you need to understand what matters to them.
為了影響其他人,你必須知道對(duì)他們來說什么是重要的事。
Carnegie says that "once you know what matters to others through a practice of longer listening, you can then truly engage them by putting such manners at the forefront of your interactions. If you're talking business, this process is about putting the customer back into customer relationship management."
卡內(nèi)基說“一旦你從長(zhǎng)期的聆聽中得知了對(duì)別人來說什么事情重要,你就可以在交流的開始就提及那些東西,來真正引起他們的興趣。如果你在談生意,這個(gè)過程就是把顧客重新放回顧客關(guān)系管理中。”