一、避免使用語(yǔ)意弱的“be”動(dòng)詞。
1.把句中的表語(yǔ)轉(zhuǎn)換為不同的修飾語(yǔ)。例如:
Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab.
Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (轉(zhuǎn)換為前置定語(yǔ))
Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (轉(zhuǎn)換為并列結(jié)構(gòu)作后置定語(yǔ))
2.將作表語(yǔ)用的形容詞或名詞變?yōu)樾袨閯?dòng)詞。例如:
1) Weak: The team members are good players.
Revision: The team members play well.
2) Weak: One worker’s plan is the elimination of tardiness.
Revision: One worker’s plan eliminates tardiness.
3.在以“here”或“there”開(kāi)頭的句子中,把“be”動(dòng)詞后的名詞代詞變成改寫(xiě)句的主語(yǔ)。例如:
1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.
Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.
2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.
Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.
二、多用語(yǔ)意具體的動(dòng)詞,保持句意簡(jiǎn)潔明了。例如:
1. Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.
Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.
2. Poor: She is a careful shopper.
Better: She compares prices and quality.
三、盡量運(yùn)用主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)。例如:
1. Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.
Better: Charity has supported the organization.
2. Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.
Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.
四、防止使用語(yǔ)意冗長(zhǎng)累贅的詞語(yǔ)。例如:
1. Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.
Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.
2. Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.
Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.
3. Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
4. Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.
五、杜絕濫用陳舊詞語(yǔ)或難懂的專(zhuān)業(yè)術(shù)語(yǔ)。例如:
1. Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.
Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.
2. Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.
Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.
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